Reinvention

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When do we know it’s time to reinvent ourselves, to move on to another adventure or challenge?

For me, it was sometime in my 40’s. At that point my son was in the 8th grade, in a gifted magnet, and he was assigned a project, to create a special Time magazine edition featuring a historical figure. He decided on Leonardo DaVinci. (Full details with photos of his artwork are on my blog, Rev Liz Writings).

I became involved in photographing Leonardo’s work, helping with the layout, editing, etc. It was an “A” project for him, and a wake-up call for me that I needed to be using my time and talent out in the world. My son was individuating, I needed to step up and into a new role. Full time motherhood was not needed; I could begin to focus more on myself.

Being past 40 and receiving negative feedback on a few interviews, I ended up taking a clerical assistant position (which given my education, felt beneath me) at the nearby state university, and from there I moved into a master’s program in counseling at the same school. I was basically working through my mid-life crisis, and I came out the other end with a degree in educational psychology, guidance and counseling, plus a post-master’s certificate in career counseling and development. I worked several years in career development and vocational rehabilitation.

We often need to reinvent ourselves, depending on our stage of life. As we live longer, we may experience a number of reinventions. There’s no point in looking back and obsessing on missed opportunities or poor decisions.

The present is NOW. We can ask: what can I do now, with the resources that I have available? How will the state of my health, my finances, my relationships, my talents and abilities fit into my decisions? Perhaps there is something I always wanted to do in the past, but never pursued due to time and responsibilities. Is now the time to step up and into some new adventure?

Make a list. Exercise your idea muscle, as one of my favorite authors, James Altucher recomends. Perhaps out of a list of 100 possible ideas, one will resonate. And then get going. Be proactive. Develop a plan to implement the idea.

Know that we stand at the point of limitless opportunity; see it and grasp it, and see how our innate creative expression can impact this crazy world we live in. Let our natural dynamism flow. Let’s be Senior Dynamos.

The Inner Critic

galeglassLately I’ve become very aware of my Inner Critic…that critical inner voice that tends to judge and demean. I was surprised to find many articles, books and cartoons devoted to this topic on the Internet. I thought it was just me. But no…it seems to be universal.

Basically it’s that inner voice that says I’m not enough, or I did that wrong, I “coulda, woulda, shoulda” done something better. Or “Who do you think you are?” Don’t do that! You might embarrass yourself. Or don’t try that; it’s too risky. You’d think as a student of Science of Mind I’d be past this, but it crops up.

I’ve been working with a vocal coach, and from the very beginning when he suggested I add singing as well as speaking to our sessions, I’m saying: I can’t sing. Never have, never will.

But it turns out…I CAN sing. He tells me to still my Inner Critic and sing…in a rather high range, up to B flat, which is apparently good. I say apparently because my voice still doesn’t sound very strong to me, and I’m not taking it out into the world. But it’s coming along.

As part of this singing adventure I’ve discovered a whole new world of music . I’ve been watching Mario Lanza movies, which I enjoyed as a teenager, and learned that he inspired a whole generation of opera singers through his films.

There are all sorts of videos on Youtube with well known singers performing some of the songs I’m learning. So I can sing along with the likes of Rene Fleming and give my Inner Critic a chance to say, “Really?”

There are apparently several types of Inner Critics…not just the perfectionist, which is the one I’m most familiar with. “There’s no way I can do this perfectly; so why bother?

There’s also the taskmaster, the inner controller, the underminer, and guilt tripper, among others. So what’s the best way to deal with this inner judge or gremlin? Either ignore and dismiss it, or befriend and transform it. Maybe the inner critic is trying to protect us…say, from making a fool of ourselves or protect us from being hurt or humiliated.

A short talk I gave last Sunday was videotaped, and I had the opportunity to see myself in action. And of course the Inner Critic immediately started dissecting what was wrong…I was looking at my script too often, I looked old and jowly, etc. etc.

But then I thought.. maybe I’m not as spontaneous now as those Ted Talk speakers I see see on Youtube,  but I can certainly practice more until I’m more fluid. It would take work, but can be done. As for the extra chin, either get plastic surgery or just accept it.

Or transform it into a positive. How would that work?

I’d like to be a model for my book project, Become a Senior Dynamo. Expand Your Dynamic Range, Live Large in Your Golden Years,. Perhaps I could demonstrate that we may have gray hair and some sags and bags unlike those rock stars of aging like Jane Fonda or Helen Mirren, but we’re still dynamos of energy, creativity, productivity and good health. We can still expand our dynamic range and live large in our golden years. That’s an example of transforming the Inner Critic into a helpful ally.

Unless we somehow harness our Inner Critic, we can be stuck. Instead of moving ahead on projects or achieving goals, whether it be writing a book, losing weight, or starting a business, we can get stuck in procrastination or addictive behaviors. We might overeat, watch too much TV or just go from one distraction to another.

So what can we do? First, become aware when the Inner Critic pops us, saying “you’re not enough.” Listen for the hidden beliefs behind the self-talk and challenge them. Wait! Am I really not enough? That’s not really true. I am worthy, strong and capable. I am enough. I can do this.

We can develop and activate an Inner Champion to replace the Inner Critic, and create our best life now.

As a student of Science of Mind, I know we can nourish our souls with the positive and chase out the negatives by affirming: As I change my thinking, I change my life.